


The Survivor

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [432]
Category: The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: (discussion), Cannibalism, Fear, Gen, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-07 01:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11048658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: They made Beth the designated survivor. She didn't really process what was happening until it was already over.





	The Survivor

It’s not like she didn’t process the thing as real. Astronauts don’t make it into space unless they are rational, aware, and able to process a great deal of information and really get it very quickly. So yes, she had understood what the crew had decided. She had understood when they made the decision. She understood when she told her father. She understood in the moment where it might have spelt the beginning of the end and their terrible decision may have come to fruition.

But it isn’t until Martinez makes jokes about it that she really, really, bone-deep chilling her blood all the way to her core gets it.

Her teammates, in possibly the most cool, rational, collected manner she has ever seen, sat down together and plotted a suicide pact. Where she would survive. And eat them.

And Martinez has the nerve the make jokes.

To be fair to him, she knows full well it’s how he handles things. Lightens the situation. Diffuses tension. Except right now it’s like some sort of comedy-edged knife.

“Hey, Johanssen? We could–” Beth tries to pull herself together, upright, presentable, but fails miserably. Commander Lewis is still her commander, is still possibly the most commanding person Beth knows–screw every man who thinks he’s in charge back on Earth at NASA–but she’s seen Beth every day for a long time now. Beth fails, and falls apart in front of her.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Commander Lewis asks, coming into Beth’s bunk. “Things are looking up, I thought.”

Beth furiously swipes at her face. She’s not even really crying but it’s enough, enough to bother her, which makes her just want to cry more, vicious cycle that it is. “Sorry, Martinez–no, sorry, Commander, forget that, Martinez didn’t do anything. Nothing’s wrong.” The last thing she wants is Martinez getting blamed for this. Her crew mates are pragmatic to the extreme, intensely intelligent, and doing their best for NASA. Not their fault she doesn’t like the situation.

Commander Lewis studies her and Beth wishes she’d go away. “I picked you to survive for a reason,” she says.

“Because I’m the smallest?”

“That, too,” Lewis acknowledges. “That would have saved you. But you’re the smartest, Johanssen. You could have gotten yourself back home. And I admire that in you. And you’re the youngest. You’d have bounced back.”

“All due respect, I’m not sure I would have.”

Commander Lewis squeezes her shoulder, a remarkably demonstrable moment. “Well, thankfully, right now, you don’t have to figure it out,” she says.

Right now. No false promises, no false hope. That’s not how the Commander works. Somehow, Beth appreciates it.

“But to keep it that way, we’re going to have to do a lot of work,” Commander Lewis continues. “Years worth of hard work. You ready for it? Because I can give you about ten more minutes. But then I need you to be ready for it.”

Beth smiles at that. “I’m ready,” she says, swiping her face one more time.


End file.
